Bonjour, mes amies! I miss coming to blog with you all, sitting down having a nice cup of tea and just talking to all of you…I realize I keep posting about how hectic my life has been, and honestly it’s been hard to keep up with Singing about Sunshine (mainly because I really have been singing about sunshine). Recent events? Let’s list some, shall we?
1) First of all, to recap from the last post, both shows (Mowry Gardens and Fall Fest) went fabulous. Mowry Gardens was an amazing experience, and I feel honored to have been able to express my music in such a natural place with such loving people. Besides my pick deciding to go free falling mid song, everything went smoothly.
2) School and Music is going well, as always. I’ve noticed a bit of a darker mood to my music lately, though (due to numero 3 that will be mentioned in a moment). It’s upbeat and the lyrics are nice, but the emotions behind the songs are a bit darker and damper than I usually write about. Now sure, I used to write about how my life was a “spiraling tornado of death” or something demonic like that, but things are different now. My “dampers” now are mainly about heartbreak. Still no fun.
3) You guessed it! Heartbreak! đ Honestly, when it comes to this one, I can’t say it’s a bad thing. It has caused me to grow as a person (as each heartbreak does), grow as a hopeless romantic, and it gave me a muse for my newest song. But long story short, I fell uber-hard for a guy, turned out to be straight (MY LIFE), didn’t work out, spent a week listening to sappy Disney songs, now we’re all cheery and happy;…right?
I always believe that bad things happen for the best reasons. While at the time, this recent heartbreak seemed like the worst thing ever, I now realize it wasn’t THAT big of a deal, it’s not my first and it won’t be my last, so we all might as well just move on with our lives. No need to cry over spilled milk, and as everyone always says, “if they break your heart, fuck ’em”. Of course, not to literally fuck them, even though it might be…
…nevermind.
All-in-all, EVERYTHING happens for a reason, and every single thing that happens to us happens for a reason. No words are left unsaid in the Universe’s eyes, and therefore the best thing is to embrace everything that happens. I am especially grateful for all the misfortunes in my life, for they help me grow even more than the comforting moments that leave me relaxed. Although some people find it hard to comprehend, it’s actually fairly easy to offer gratitude to the demons in our life. Tutorial Time! đ
How to Love the Undesirable Moments in Life:
Step 1 (AKA Plan A): Avoid fighting with friends and loved ones. You don’t know how long you could have them for. This plan can often lead to failure and fighting may seem unavoidable, but it is VITAL to your relationship with your loved ones that you take this plan into effect.
Real Step 1 (AKA Plan B): Enter a situation calmly, and with a smile. Don’t be too defensive, but at the same time never become too passive. This will both allow you to avoid flame-wars with peers/adults, and you will gain respect from your adversary.
Step 2: Identify your Adversary. Now you may be saying, “Jazz, why isn’t this step 1?”. Well, my friends, no matter who you’re encountering, you need to stay cool, calm, and collected. Your adversary could be a multiple of people. Here are the main types, and how to deal with them (so really, steps 2+3)
- The Friend: Friends are valuable, precious, and good friends are rare. In the early stages of a friendship, it’s hard to tell whether you have a real friend or not. Therefore, you have to hold each one with the up-most respect. Handle these situations gently, thinking deeply into their responses. Agree if you have done wrong, and continue to assure you don’t want to hurt your friendship in any way, and that you hope that you can get past this. A smile usually helps.
- The Family Member: These situations can often be handled more loosely. If it’s an immediate family member, you can be slightly more defensive, but not enough to start any flame-wars (back-and-forth battles full of names and swears). Your family will always forgive you in the end, but you need to reciprocate but apologizing for any misdemeanors. 99% of the time, if you’re in a fight with a family member, they’re not the only ones doing wrong here.
- The Ignoramus: These people need to be handled with very special care. The Ignoramus is a very common type of person, and  they are extremely ignorant to all of your emotions/cares. A smile is absolutely necessary through the entire situation, and you absolutely NEED to give consideration into their side. Whether it’s a battle about who you are (someone calling you a “fag” when you are indeed gay; these are never fun), what you’re wearing, who you hang out with, etc., these people are usually in more pain than you are and need to be handled with care. The smallest thing that could make them tick could send them into an outrage and start a mental forest-fire for both you and them. Always try to end these situations as soon as possible, they’re not worth the effort and you shouldn’t bother with them.
Step 3: End the situation calmly. Apologize for any misdemeanor you may have caused and hope for a reciprocating apology. Again, in any kind of situation, you/your adversary are usually not the only ones at wrong.
Step 4: The aftermath. This is an excellent time to reflect on what exactly just happened. Use this time as an opportunity to grow and mend any tears in your personality or emotions that may have been caused by the previous time period. Think about what happened, and think about how you can grow from it and extend your horizons.
Step 5: Take these adjustments (if any were made) into effect. They will boost your social skills for good, because through this opportunity you were about to see that you are NOT going through the worst of the worst, and that there is more to come, so to take every moment as an opportunity to reflect and grow.
Step 6 (Plan C): Let’s say that your situation wasn’t a fight with a friend, or a family member, or an ignoramus, but more of a personal pet-peeve. Repeat steps 4 and 5, but instead of reflecting in Step 4, think about what you want to change in yourself. (honestly, everyone has some imperfection that they feel like they need to change; but never try to change all of who you are. You are perfect in every way and are loved) When you do find that piece of yourself that you feel needs to go under some construction, start step 5. Make a plan and put it into effect. It will only work out positively in the end, because the only person you need to please is YOU.
After this 6 Step plan, which I like to call RIDRA (Relax, Identify, Diminish, Reflect, Act), I can assure you that you can save yourself a lot of heartbreak, and in return you can grow like the flower you are.
Now that I’m done sounding like a salesperson and an inspirational speaker, can I just say…longest post ever? đ
I wish you all the best on all of your endeavors, and the ability to grow and reflect. I hope that my 6-Step System could help đ I love you all, and until next time.
~J